Karniqua’s Surprise

Gerogan was worried. The photos were in the hands of the contest judges and the decision would soon be made. Would his wife’s supreme ugliness be the Exalted Winner? It must be so.

Winning would pay all the debts and give him a life of pleasure and freedom. But, if they did not win it would mean the slave pens and a life of servitude for him

Thinking back he thought of how it, at first, was the money that started the process. Then it was the thrill of seeing all that he had seen in those clandestine trips into those wonderful tomorrows. Then, as the calls for payment of Timegate use came it grew back into this dependence on winning the contest. Now it was the money again.

As he remembered, he again saw the moment when Karniqua came rushing into the house with the contest flyer, blushing with excitement.

“I can win this Gerogan, I can! You know that I have always excelled in ugliness and to be seen as the most putrefied of all women would bring the fame, riches, and lifestyle that we have always wanted. Besides, I know how to win.”

“Karniqua,” he had replied, “the disaster of your form and face is indeed worthy of this honor, but an artist is expensive. And an artist with time-sense is beyond any means that we will ever have. Should we lose we would be paupers, if, even worse, we were not sentenced to the kettles.”

Karniqua, with a sly look on her face, said, “We shall use the Timegates; both of us. We shall go forth and I will pose with each older version of me. The picture you take will show an actual vision of my future hideousness posed with the unsightliness that I am now blessed with. All you will need to do is take pictures of us at each ten-year jump. We cannot loose!”

“Timegates, Karniqua, are expensive, so how will we pay for their use? Their cost is far greater than even a Time-sense Artist. You are being carried away in this fantasy.”

“We will use mother’s income. I have been visiting her about this and she no longer has any need of her income. It is ours now.”

Gerogan smiled at the thought of his mother-in-law starring at a banquet in someone’s honor; it was almost as delicious as she, with the right seasonings, would be. And the income was undoubtedly great enough for a few of the Timegate’s sessions.

That Karniqua’s hideousness would grow was assured for, after all, did she not greatly resemble her mother? Others would invest in the project for the honor of sponsoring this year’s Exalted Winner.

Indeed, that was the way it had worked out. Each set of pictures of a Karniqua ten years older brought delightful groans of the greatest measure from those they had shown them to. Just the putrefying pustules around her mouth, larger and more oozing with each photo, was convincing enough to them.

Now, many had invested in Karniqua being the contest winner and his debts had mounted unbelievably. They all knew that Gerogan, having such ugliness in his wife, would soon be man of the year, with all the influence and power that came with such an honor.

Then the letter from His Supreme Orkiness came. It stated that His Malfeasance would exercise his rights and elevate Karniqua to the royal harem when she was declared winner.

Gerogan, as her ex-husband, would then be suitably rewarded with a vacation of two weeks on a desert island. It was a crushing blow.

When Karniqua read the letter, instead of being thrilled at the elevation, she showed her true loyalty to Gerogan by committing suicide, thusly denying His Supreme Orkiness any claim on her and leaving Gerogan, her beloved husband, all the rewards of their efforts.

Now, Gerogan, lost in his remembrances of his wife and the actions they had taken, was waiting for the knock at the door that would tell him that his wife’s hideousness had truly made him a rich and powerful person.

The wait was not long and, Gerogan, opening the door, was surprised to see, not the contest judges, but the Debt Police. The shock that Karniqua’s photos had not won was devastating. How could anyone have become more truly hideous that she had?

“My wife,” he said, “was the ugliest woman in the world, any world. How is it that you are here? Where are the contest judges to award me the future we worked so hard for, that Karniqua became soup for? What has happened? How could the judges have been so blind to those photos?”

The Debt Police, usually very unsympathetic, were, indeed, saddened by the current situation that Gerogan found himself in. So they, in kindness, made an exception just this once, and explained to Gerogan that the judges had not seen any hideousness in the entry photos that Gerogan had sent in.

The photos were blank and Gerogan was destined to be soup for His Orkyness.

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