Prose Header


Unidentified Swimming Objects

by Boghos L. Artinian


Sam was a cell physiologist, albeit I do not know if he is still probing cells. More than fifty years ago he had learned from my late father — a pharmacology instructor and part-time glassblower — the art of pulling ever finer probes from red-hot glass pipes. With those micron-thin pipettes, he used to penetrate cell membranes to measure electrical potentials. He may also have sucked out intracellular molecules and may even have injected certain molecules into cells.

During those early cell-probing sessions, there often were cries of exhilaration among his group each time Sam scored a successful cell entry as seen on an oscilloscope and simultaneously heard as a characteristic sound signal on the speakers.

In those early years of the sixties, I was a young medical undergraduate who could easily be thrown into ecstasy in the company of basic science researchers and in the presence of such new instruments of science. I had clearly sided with Man in his analytical approach and was totally unconcerned about any ‘feelings’ lower-level organisms could have, or about any measure of control higher-level organisms could be exerting on us. Now, I am soberer and hardly arousable to ecstasy; nevertheless, I am wiser and therefore intend to view cell physiology from the perspective of cells.

Our respect for cells has been far less than what they actually deserve despite the lifetime of selfless service they render in our bodies. Ironically, we show more respect to cells that revolt and become formidable foes to be defeated at all costs, namely cancer. In this exercise, I will assume that cells see, hear, smell, taste, feel and talk, though we know that they don’t do so in a manner anywhere near the human.

As Sam’s micropipette descended upon cells under his microscope, many of them would have witnessed a shining circular object, the tip of the probe illuminated fibro-optically through its glass body. Had Sam been interrupted by a phone call, his first attempt that day at reaching cells would have been aborted by his withdrawing his micropipettes. That episode would have been classified by cells as a simple sighting of a USO — an Unidentified Swimming Object — that lasted a few hours.

Sam would return from his phone call after ten minutes, a period that may be a “week” in the time scale of cells. He would again descend upon the cells with his probe, this time reaching the cells and touching some of them, undecided yet which one to break into. If he were to be interrupted again, this time by an overseas visitor, he would retract the probe and be away for one hour. The phenomenon witnessed by cells on this occasion would have been a sighting of a USO by many cells and a close encounter with physical effects — heat from the illuminated tip of the pipette and possibly some electric currents — experienced by a few cells.

After an hour or so — more than a month for cells — Sam would return yet again to his microscope. On this trial, he isn’t interrupted and eventually penetrates the cell membrane of one of the cells and completes his measurements for that day. This time, many cells would have reported a USO sighting, a few would have reported a USO landing with some physical effects and, lastly, a single cell would have reported having been manipulated and having sustained a lasting injury, that being the cell that Sam’s pipette had penetrated.

If, at other sessions, Sam had pipetted out a few cells for genetic manipulation and had later returned them to their original site, the phenomenon would have been classified as USO abduction, and the involved cells as abductees. Had Sam introduced some foreign cells into the milieu of his cells through his micropipette — you guessed it — the phenomenon would have been called a close encounter with ECs or Extra-Corporeal beings. You can easily imagine all kinds of human-cellular interaction, and you will find parallels with UFO phenomena.

Most cells would “doubt” the authenticity of the USO reports. It is cell nature to be skeptical about USO phenomena; they would demand stringently collected evidence to support such things, although it is obvious to us that they are being manipulated by extracorporeal multicellular organisms (Sam, for instance). It is not unlikely that — in a similar manner obvious to others — we are being thoroughly manipulated by extraterrestrial multi-humanoid super-organisms, while still highly doubting the fact.

It is human nature to be skeptical.


Copyright © 2021 by Boghos L. Artinian

Proceed to Challenge 959...

Home Page