Error

by Ásgrímur Hartmannsson

Chapter 13

'Error' synopsis

One day, Jonas, who has recently migrated to the city, discovers that all his records — including his assets — have been erased somehow. No longer able to get work, buy anything on credit or sell his now legally non-existent car, his life becomes a unique adventure.

When Jonas woke up, it was beginning to get dark again. He was irritated at having missed the day, but knew he had nothing to do. When he remembered he had people working on getting his identity back, he immediately became wide awake. He looked at his clock. Damn! He would be too late. The Bureau of Personal Information Protection, along with all other government offices, would be closed by now and would not open again till Monday. Damn Fridays.

Jonas figured he would just go out and get a burger before the party started. Hungrily he put on his shoes and his jacket. Going out of his apartment, suddenly remembered where he had parked his car: far away. Damn again!

Being so hungry, Jonas did not enjoy the cool breeze. It irritated him; he thought it was way too cool, like the inside of a liquid nitrogen tank.

The car had not been touched. Jonas looked under it and opened the hood to check for bombs just the same. You can never know unless you check.

The car started again but took a while longer than usual, and the motor sounded a bit higher-pitched due to the suddenly increased cold. The mileage would go up too: from seven to nine litres per 100 kilometres, to more like nine to eleven litres per 100 kilometres. Jonas thought it was still better than the Land-Cruiser he had been chased by last night; it was liable to waste twenty litres over the same distance.

Jonas backed out of the parking space and carefully worked his way out of the lot. It looked slippery to him. Much of the snow had melted over the course of the day, but the pavement still looked slick, and Jonas did not need an accident right now.

Twenty minutes later he arrived at a suitable hamburger joint and had himself a nice, greasy burger. Hungry as he was, he felt it was the best meal he had had in a number of years.

What in hell do I do now? he thought as he sat, digesting his burger. It would probably be best to go home again and then just... Jonas thought it over. He really had nothing to do. He thought some more. He was sure there was something he was forgetting; something trivial, like shopping for groceries. Groceries? Come to think of it, he was running out of milk, bread, and food generally.

Having found something to occupy himself with, Jonas stood up and walked out of the little shop. Where would he find an open store at this hour? Damn Fridays. There were of course, the more expensive ones. The cheapest of those ought to be open still. It was not even six o’clock yet.

Jonas went to his car and drove to the store he imagined would be easiest on his wallet. There he bought stuff he thought he might need to live and carried it to his car. He did not bother getting a bag. Bags cost too much. Instead, he arranged the stuff in his car’s passenger seat and then made sure to drive carefully so it would not tumble all over the floor.

Jonas got home and parked where he usually did. He figured that if his car had been observed where he parked it last time, whoever might observe it now would think it was a hoax this time too.

Carrying the stuff to his apartment proved a bit more difficult than Jonas had anticipated. But he succeeded without dropping anything. Once in his apartment, he turned on the TV and let it warm up while he was putting the stuff he had just bought where he thought it had the least chance of going bad. Where there are neither mice nor cockroaches, there is less chance of anything going bad, but it is best to have a fridge anyway.

After that fun, Jonas seated himself in front of his TV and waited for the news to come on.

The news, a daily program tells of what bad things happening out in the great big world: floods, earthquakes, a select few wars and famines often caused by those floods, earthquakes and wars.

Jonas, like many of his countrymen, liked the news. It made him feel as though there were nothing wrong around him. All of the really bad stuff seemed to happen in Africa. But this time the news would be about him, specifically.

His name was never mentioned, but he knew it was about him. It was so clear. The Bureau of Personal Information Protection’s systems had been infiltrated, and a name had been added. A special security program noticed when this was being done, and steps had been taken to counter it. The added name had been promptly removed, and the attacker’s IP address had been spied upon.

Damn! Jonas checked his calendar to see whether it was Friday the 13th. It was not. But his problem had begun on Monday, so Fridays could hardly be held to blame. No, it was not a day-related problem that Jonas was facing. This was much more sinister.

Jonas saw that he would need to go to some greater lengths to have his problem fixed. He mulled it over for a few minutes, wondering what would happen if the computer hardware itself went off line for whatever reason. They would turn it back on again, he thought. But what if it was destroyed? Would not everybody be deleted?

Jonas believed that this might cause the state to re-insert all names into the system. He might be put back on the list. He gathered that most of the hardware would be in the Bureau of Personal Information Protection building. That is what it was built for anyway. He had to research this. Tonight would be good. Nobody would be there tonight.

Jonas figured that some time after 2:00 a.m. would be a good time.

Luckily, there was a good show on TV. And a lot of movies Jonas had not seen before.

While watching the TV, he wondered what he would need to break in: a sledgehammer, perhaps? Jonas did not have anything like that. He had a hammer somewhere. That would have to do. Jonas also understood that there would be a lot of security. Once he broke something, alarms would go off and people would come running after him.

Perhaps this was not such a good idea?

Nothing better to do, thought Jonas and retrieved his hammer from under the sink.

Better not break and enter on an empty stomach, he thought at around midnight and started cooking something. Jonas could not remember the last time he had had a meal after midnight. It is such a bad thing to do before sleep. One should always eat at least two hours before bedtime. If one feels hungry after that time, having a glass of water is a good idea. Water need not be digested, and therefore does not keep one awake during the process. However, it will get a man out of bed early.

Jonas finished his meal in peace, taking time to properly digest, meanwhile watching a crappy action film on TV. It was cheap and sloppily directed. All the action moved slowly, as though the characters were just moving about at a carnival rather than furiously shooting at each other as they were supposed to.

Action films are not supposed to be realistic; they are supposed to be a fun show, like a fireworks display.

At last Jonas thought the night had passed enough. Surely all the police would be downtown watching drunks or patrolling the suburbs for burglars, or even lurking under bridges waiting for speeders or intoxicated drivers. That ought to give Jonas time to go about his business.

The security company would also be busy patrolling other sites; more important sites; sites that had a high probability of being burglarized. Nobody in his right mind would burglarize the Bureau of Personal Information Protection building. There was nothing there but computer screens. There was little market for screens unless a computer came attached to them.

It had been said that there was but one computer in the Bureau of Personal Information Protection building. It filled a complete room. In reality, it was a bunch of computers linked together, and they were linked to all businesses, banks, credit card companies, and other government branches, to keep track of all the individual persons in the country. All but Jonas.

Nobody really wanted the computers in the Bureau of Personal Information Protection, because they were all linked up. They did not have any desirable hardware, like 3D or audio cards. This left the Bureau of Personal Information Protection ignored by burglars.

This would be a new one for them, thought Jonas, grinning. And he was not about to steal anything either. He just wanted to trash the place with a hammer.

Jonas went to put on his shoes, and then he wondered where on his person he should keep the hammer. It would not fit in any of his pockets without either showing, falling out or just being uncomfortable. How about just carrying it in the hand then? Nothing suspicious about that. No. Just strolling around in the dark, carrying a hammer like some assassin.

Jonas put on his jacket and went out of his apartment, carrying the hammer in his hand. Now he was armed and dangerous. How cool was that? Not as cool as outside.

To be continued...