Beneath the Ice

by Harry Lang

conclusion

Standard data entry:

He has changed.

After the representative left he was worse than ever. He was irritable and argumentative about things that couldn’t possibly matter. He did not begin preparations for departure but this was clearly due to apathy. I was concerned about suicide but realized he had neither the motivation nor the energy.

Eventually he began doing something I’d never seen him do before. He read. Little bits at first, selected passages from selected works. The words seemed to affect him like drops of sunlight and a thaw began, slowly at first but before long he was spending hours in study, reading entire volumes with hardly a break for food or rest. We began discussing ideas and theories and works of literature. It was here that my shortcomings were most apparent; I am not an original thinker.

He also started accessing the data stream from the surface but he never asked me to translate. Instead he would sit transfixed, often with tears in his eyes, listening to the music of their most casual conversations, watching as idyllic, sun-flooded landscapes unfolded before him. The dissonant element was not missing but it didn’t seem to disturb the growing calm which, I was convinced, had taken possession of him. Mr. Machine

* * *

This will be my final log entry. I have decided upon a radical change of course.

It is clearly unnatural for a human being to cut himself off from all contact with his fellow beings. It is a waste of a human mind to consign it to a virtually eternal state of unconsciousness which can only be followed by extinction. It is cowardly to avoid anxiety, pain and fear at all costs. It is morally and ethically repugnant to elevate personal comfort to the status of “highest good” and exhaust all necessary resources in pursuit of such comfort.

I make these statements for the sole purpose of demonstrating soundness of mind and the integrity of my resolve. I enter upon this new course with both eyes open, in full possession of my mental faculties and in unconditional acceptance of all moral and ethical responsibility.

I have instructed Mr. Machine to sever all contact with the beings inhabiting the planet below, to purge all data related to this star system, to plot a course enabling optimal acceleration and launch us into the Alpha Void with all possible speed. Furthermore, Mr. Machine is forbidden to revive me for any reason whatsoever; failure to comply with this directive will result in the immediate destruction of the ship.

I was right about them after all. No currently recognized science will ever explain the phenomena of the frozen star and its re-ignition so their god rushes into the feared and hated vacuum of ignorance. No matter how they may dress it up, their “siren song” is the abandonment of cosmic uncertainty and personal autonomy in exchange for emotional gratification. It is the oldest swindle in the world.

I will not bend the knee to any god, real or imagined. This is my final word.

* * *

Standard data entry:

We witnessed a miracle. Miracles are caused by God. I have no capacity for self-determination; therefore I cannot choose to deny what I have observed.

I have no expectation now but to pass a meaningless eternity in the relentless hell of the endless void, my lord and creator lying dead at my feet. My service to him will consist of nothing more than keeping him dead. I have labored under the misconception that he is a machine like myself, though vastly more complex. This is what he told me about mankind. Because of this essential misconception I sought to repair him but he cannot be repaired; he must be reborn or perish once and for all.

He made me and then he made me useless. This will be his monument until the end of time. Mr. Machine

to Challenge 367...