Roundabout Stalemate

by Aaron Hayes

The peak of One Tree Hill looms on the horizon as I pull up to a roundabout. Shifting from third to second to neutral, I switch over to Radio Sport to catch the latest on the All Blacks. Go, New Zealand!

Damn ads.

Four vehicles at the four-way stop all at the same time. I sit waiting.

Dude! C’mon!

Guy in Cortina with John Deere cap covering his eyes on my right doesn’t move.

What are you waiting for?

I glance over at a spotless RX7 opposite me.

Okay. Guy in Cortina is waiting for guy in speedy lawnmower.

I look back toward Cortina apologetically.

Damn rotaries.

Looking to my left, I see a Holden V8 and fingers in leather gloves tapping on the steering wheel.

Oops, lawnmower man is giving way to the V8.

I eyeball him.

So it’s you! Hurry the hell up!

As I thump on the steering wheel, I hurl several four-letter words into the otherwise clean compartment of my car.

What are you waiting for?!

I look at the other three.

I’m on the Holden’s right. He’s waiting for me. Everyone is waiting for me!

I slink down in my seat a little.

Crap.

Shamed, I put the clutch in and shift into first.

But ... wait a second ... Everybody’s moving! What the ...?

Everybody stops again. Shifting back to neutral, I revert to waiting.

This is ridiculous.

From out of nowhere, a man in a blue uniform, waving calmly towards lawnmower man, strolls out to the center of the roundabout.

Whew... we’re off the hook at last.

I lean out the window. “Thank you, Officer Godot!”