Helen

by Catfish Russ

Conclusion

“Yes your honor. My apologies to... the plaintiff and to the plaintiff’s attorney and... um...trainer.”

“You just can’t help yourself, can you?” Rachel shot back.

“Your honor and members of the jury, whatever you can teach this animal doesn’t make her a person or confer rights upon her. Every dog that goes to the door whimpering is either wanting to go outdoors, or asking for its freedom, if you will. That doesn’t make it a person. “

“And if I may respond,” Manny asked, struggling to stay inside his two-sizes-too-small suit.

“You may,” the Judge replied. “It’s a little out of turn, but if State’s attorney is going to be truculent I will allow you a response.”

“Your Honor and members of the jury, Helen knows 430 words. We only need about 300 to survive and about 500 to get a job. She uses words in syntax, she makes sentences, answers questions, and otherwise uses language in a way that somewhat outclasses a dog whimpering to go outside and poop.”

More laughter.

“Now I would like to ask the State’s Attorney a question.”

“Am I on trial?” Johnson asked.

“We can either wait for a cross-examination and he can request to question you, or you can opt out,” Rachel set the terms and laid the gavel back down.

“Go ahead, Mr. Taylor. Ask away.”

“How far away is the Sun?”

“I don’t know. Let me guess. A million miles away.”

“No, Ms. Johnson, we are ninety-two million miles from the Sun,” Manny replied.

“What’s the point of this?” Rachel Finklestein asked. She pushed her glasses up her nose, annoyed that she has just dressed down a State’s attorney and expected to hear a better retort than this.

“Thank you, your honor,” Johnson shot back. “For an animal with a walnut-sized brain, she has enough of an idea that she wants to leave Yerkes and go to a preserve or to the jungle, perhaps. She may not be able to point out where she is in relation to the world, but then our State’s attorney, with a brain the size of a watermelon, doesn’t know her location in regards to the Solar System.”

Titters. Cackles.

“OK, let’s continue. Do you have any more questions for Helen, Ms. Johnson?”

“No, your honor. I think the point is made.” Johnson sat down before Rachel Finklestein could say “Does plaintiff’s counsel have any questions?”

“Yes, your honor,” Taylor answered. “Yes indeed we do.”

* * *

“Helen, what’s on the outside of the fence?” Manny asked.

Dr. Comes signed the question. Manny could sign as well as Dr. Comes but it seemed less problematic in the long run to have an independent translator. But Manny watched carefully for the first part of the testimony and decided Dr. Comes was doing a good job.

Helen signed back and Dr. Comes reported, “Trees.”

“So you want to go to the trees?” Dr. Comes signed the question.

Helen immediately responded, “Yes. Helen wants to go to the trees. Yes.”

“What would Helen do if she could never go to the woods?”

Dr. Comes spoke up: “Your honor, subjunctives and future tenses are difficult to sign without letters. I would offer that Mr. Taylor simplify the question.”

Manny said, “Sure Dr. Comes and thank you. Would the court indulge me in asking Helen a question?”

Rachel answered, “As long as Dr. Comes translates it and thinks it’s a good question. Go ahead.”

Manny signed. Dr. Comes translated. “Helen must stay at the compound. How does Helen feel?”

Helen signed: “Helen sad.”

Manny signed again and Dr. Comes reported: “Helen happy in woods, and sad at compound?”

Helen signed: “Yes.”

Manny turned to the jury. “Helen does not know where Africa is. Helen does not know where Ghana, her birthplace, is located in Africa. Like Christopher Columbus, who didn’t really know where the ocean led. Like Neil Armstrong, who really didn’t know what he’d find when he stepped outside the Lunar Module, Helen doesn’t know exactly where the woods are. She might not be able to distinguish one kind of woods from another.

“But Helen wants out. She wants her freedom. The question of where she would go, and who would care for her and could she survive has been settled separately. Philanthropists have come forward and agreed to transport her and care for her.”

“Helen has made you laugh and made you think. She has held her own against a fiercely competitive State’s Attorney.” Many nodded to Cindy Johnson. Cindy beamed a bit. “The question you have to ask yourself is this: is this a thinking being who knows she is in captivity? Does she know this? If she knows it and hates it, then does she have a right to petition for her freedom? I would argue that she knows more than we imagine, but her limited language skills mask her intelligence. Or does it?’

However, first thing: Helen wants out.”

* * *

One Scientist testified that all monkey “language” — he used the little quotation fingers when he said it adding contempt to the term — was operant conditioning, not unlike a chicken pecking for a grain of food.

On cross-examination, it turned out he was a spokesperson for a large group of anti-science Christians. That earned the State a fine of $10,000.

“Mrs. Johnson, one more plant like that and I will fire you, too. If you want to win, that’s one thing, but justice isn’t cheated.”

“He was not forthright with me, your Honor.”

“Bull, Mrs. Johnson, you knew damn well where he worked. You worked in the same building. I will not tolerate lies.” Rachel was furious.

Cindy Johnson knew it too. She decided to back off. She remained silent.

“Let’s please bring this to a conclusion.” Rachel tapped the gavel. “ I never imagined I would hear a case like this. But this was a circus when I inherited it and I want both of you to begin to make your final points within the next 48 hours. Call your friends, yell for the last amicus briefs, file for continuances, do whatever you have to do to bring this to an end. It is costly for taxpayers at a time when this county and Atlanta are damn near broke.” She pounded her gavel. “Do you both understand me?”

Manny and Johnson both nodded.

Finkelstein nodded as well. “You may continue.’

Cindy continued. “Georgia taxpayers own Helen. They care for her. They built this sanctuary. If Helen’s fans really cared for her, what would they want to happen when she goes out the door? Should she sign her way to the MARTA Station and take trip to Hartsfield Airfield? Then she goes to the counter and finds a ticket agent who knows Aslam and tries to find a discount fair to Uganda?”

“Objection, your honor,” Manny stood.

“Overruled. Why would you object to this line of questioning? I mean isn’t it practical to know this?” Rachel pushed her glasses up.

“No your honor. As the court heard ten days ago, a foundation will pay for her relocation in a safe and sound method. This is all moot, right?”

“Is it moot about who she belongs to?”

“Do you belong to your parents, your honor?”

“What?”

“They paid for you. They cared for you. At some point, and this is the point, you became free.” Manny had quieted the courtroom. “The question is, does the State of Georgia have the right to keep an intelligent being in a cage when this intelligent being clearly communicated to them that she wants out?”

Cindy retorted, “Does the State of Georgia allow an Alzheimers patient to leave in a moment of lucidity? No, they do what’s best in the long run. They incarcerate the old person. There, incarceration is a blessing. Here it’s a crime? I mean would the State allow an 11-year old to roam freely or go find her family? No. Do 11-year old children clearly ask to leave? Yes. So the question is this, as I see it...”

Cindy took a drink of water, a breath and faced the jurors. “Look, I believe Helen can communicate. So can my dog. He tells me when he’s hungry. He tells me when he has to go outside and he tells me when he needs loving. Does that mean I allow him free reign over the neighborhood? No.”

Manny stood, “Has your dog asked to leave and never come back?”

Laughter.

“I guess my dog likes me more than this monkey likes the Zoo Keeper,” Cindy shot back.

Rachel tapped the gavel. “I’ve heard experts. I’ve heard pundits. I’ve heard advocates. I should say we’ve heard all of this. We’ve also heard these arguments over and over again. Do either of you have anything new to add?”

Both Manny and the State’s attorney shook their heads.

A commotion ensued. Out back reporters were literally running over themselves to their satellite trucks waving all sorts of arcane hand signals. The final phase of the trial was beginning. Cable News feeds were interrupting news that five Marines died in Iraq to cover the Scopes Sequel. Make-up kits were opening and cosmetics were flying. Overweight middle-aged camera jockeys were hauling up their rigs and focusing. Bloggers from FreeHelen.com and Kos and FreeRepublic and PETA were rattling laptops. The very air vibrated with the urgency upon it.

Rachel decided rather than work her way back to Roswell in all that traffic, she would stay with her sister Esther who lived on Reindeer off of LaVista Road. They celebrated the final trial day with a pizza ordered in and a DVD, Foreign Correspondent, a Hitchcock movie.

* * *

The next morning Rachel could hardly drive through to the protected courthouse entrance. She came to court ten minutes late only to discover that a shot rang out from one of the Christian protesters. Turned out to be a harmless cap gun. The guy was arrested anyway, screaming “God made men men, and monkeys, monkeys.”

Helen was not in the courtroom.

In court, Rachel asked Cindy Johnson if she was ready to address the jury. Cindy stood. “Your honor, the State feels that if we have not made our case by now, it will never be made. Helen is a lovely and clever animal that belongs to the State of Georgia. On the matter of reason and intelligence, again, we compare her to a dog but only smarter. Every single day, in households across the world, decisions are made that dogs are unhappy with. Each decision is made with love and care and practicality. In her own best interests, and in the best interests of the taxpayer, we feel the case should be brought to a close and Helen be brought to her habitat.”

Cindy faced the Judge, “ I hope the court will indulge me by accepting my apologies for the reasons discussed earlier. That I am sometimes a bitch and sometimes cannot help myself when it comes to sarcasm. I would hope this doesn’t handicap the State’s case.”

Rachel said “You are forgiven. I know how crazy this case had been. I have been on it for its entirety. I have never seen anything like it. I would retire this second if I didn’t have nieces to send to school. I am not the one you should ask forgiveness.” Rachel nodded to the jury.

Still facing the Judge, Cindy spoke confidently, “I know the jury doesn’t care for me. Today I cannot even win a popularity contest with a chimpanzee. But I do know that reasonable people will make reasonable decisions.”

Cindy sat down, adjusted her dress, and closed her notebook.

“Mr. Taylor, you are on.”

“Thank you your honor. The State’s Attorney stole my thunder a little, as I had planned a short speech.” Manny walked around the table, stood in front of the jury and said, “The State’s Attorney gave you the same imprimatur that I would. Be reasonable. Helen knows where she is. She knows it’s not where she wants to be. She has a way to get where she wants to go even though she doesn’t know it. Helen wants her freedom, and with the same eloquence I’ve heard from anyone with language, she has asked for it.

“I leave it up to you to decide not whether evolution is a fact. This is not a referendum on evolution, rather whether an intelligent being deserves the same chance that you intelligent beings deserve, to be plainly and simply free.”

Manny Taylor sat down.

The jury deliberated for two hours. Rachel Finklestein smoked nine cigarettes waiting for the day to end. She was shocked and amazed. She thought it would not go well for Helen and her activist attorney or Helen that the deliberation was quick.

The Bailiff asked if she just wanted to have the jury report in next morning since the day was essentially over. “Are you kidding, Roger? Let’s finish this now.” That night, Helen appeared with Dr. Colmes on Larry King Live. The media tour would delay the return to Uganda for years. By the time Helen signed that she wanted to return to Yerkes, there were three other animals in courtrooms around the world.