Quand vous serez bien vieille
by Pierre de Ronsard
Herewith Ronsard’s famous sonnet for Hélène accompanied by three translations, including William Butler Yeats’ variation on the theme.
Yeats’ poem is not in the same spirit as Ronsard’s. That’s not bad, it’s just different. Yeats takes a more spiritual, even ethereal tone, while Ronsard is downright earthy: the candle and spinning are commonplace symbols of sexuality.
Translating the poem is made all the more difficult by the trap that Ronsard sets for the unwary in the second stanza (explanation at the end). Both Weir and Tejada-Flores get caught in it. Otherwise, Weir’s version is a good guide to the original, and Tejada-Flores’ is a humorous and original translation in country western style!
Quand vous serez bien vieille, au soir, à la chandelle, Lors, vous n’aurez servante oyant telle nouvelle, Je serai sous la terre et fantôme sans os : Regrettant mon amour et votre fier dédain. — Sonnets pour Hélène, 1587 |
“When you are very old...” When you are very old, at evening, by the fire, Then not one of your servants dozing gently there I’ll be underneath the ground, and a boneless shade regretting my love, and regretting your disdain. — originally published in Tide and Undertow |
When You Are Old When you are old and grey and full of sleep, How many loved your moments of glad grace And bending down beside the glowing bars, — A free paraphrase by W.B. Yeats |
Candlelight Blues When yore gitten old at candlelight Then y’won’t have a maid what hears that soun’, Ah’ll be six foot under, no skeleton, You’ll be dreamin’ at the hearth in a messy ole way, Better saddle up yore horse, don’t wait all night, — G. R. Tejada-Flores, 1961 |
The last stanza poses a problem for translators. It begins with a play on a double meaning: Regrettant mon amour means “Missing my love” or “Yearning for my love” while Regrettant [...] votre fier dédain means “Regretting [...] your haughty disdain.”
But what is the “trap”? In the second stanza, Ronsard uses an inversion for the sake of rhyme. Grammatically, bénissant refers to mon nom, and the stanza should be deciphered as:
Lors, vous n’aurez servante oyant telle nouvelle,
Déjà sous le labeur à demi sommeillant,
Qui ne s’aille réveillant au bruit de mon nom
Bénissant votre nom de louange immortelle.
The servant wakes up when she hears Ronsard’s name blessing Hélène’s name with immortal praise. No mistake about it: if anyone is going to be “immortal,” it’s Ronsard, not some crummy servante or even Hélène herself!
The alliterations in v, f, s, and “sh” in the first stanza are a masterpiece of poetic sonority. Can you guess what they’re intended to imitate? They’re all the more remarkable because Ronsard was deaf by the age of 20. And he wrote this poem in his old age; it is intended as much for himself as for Hélène. Do you give up on the significance of the sibilant and fricative sound effects? Consider, if you will, 16th-century dentistry...