Dead Men Don’t Party

radio play

by William Spear

Cast (in order of appearance)

1. Lawrence James Garnett: Survived ambush of the Fighting Ninth of Central New Jersey by abandoning command. Directly led to deaths of 30 soldiers. Consumed with supporting surviving family members of the Ninth.

2. Miriam Evans: Sister of deceased member of the Fighting Ninth of Central New Jersey. Sweet, gentle, and unassuming.

3. William: Fell asleep on guard duty the night of the ambush but does not realize this; he has been looking to hold Garnett accountable. Hears voices of spirits of the Ninth.

4. Leader and All: Background voices at party and spirits of soldiers killed in ambush.

* * *

MUSIC: THEME: RISE AND ESTABLISH: UNDER TO BED...

ALL: (OFF MIKE: LAUGHTER AND CONVERSATIONS)

MIRIAM: Great turnout for the dedication.

GARNETT: Too many people, Miriam.

MIRIAM: Just friends and families.

GARNETT: And the press and enough politicians to start a small country. Way too many people.

MIRIAM: And the Governor’s here to present your award.

GARNETT: But I haven’t done anything.

MIRIAM: What’re you talking about Larry? You’ve helped all of us for years.

GARNETT: Maybe. But it’s not worth an award.

MIRIAM: When the Fighting Ninth was killed we had nothing. We were suffering. If you hadn’t survived, some of us might not have gotten through.

GARNETT: I should do more.

MIRIAM: You miraculously survived being ambushed, came home and worked around the clock, seven days a week to support the survivors. What else can you do?

GARNETT: Every year it seems like there are voices telling me to do more.

MIRIAM: Come and let our voices thank you. Ready for the dedication?

GARNETT: I hate speaking in public.

MIRIAM: Think about the statue. It’s the Ninth Platoon marching. Think how they would’ve wanted it dedicated.

GARNETT: Hmmmm... marching. Try this: (CHANTS) You don’t know what I’ve been through...

SFX: GARNET STOMPS TWICE.

GARNETT: (OVER SFX)... seven, eight. Just to give this speech to you...

SFX: GARNET STOMPS TWICE.

GARNETT: (OVER SFX)... seven, eight.

MIRIAM: That’s not what I had in mind.

GARNETT: (CHANTS) Have some champagne in a glass...

MIRIAM: Don’t go there, Larry.

WILLIAM: Or I’ll have to kick your...

SFX: OFF MIKE: BITE CUE: DOORBELL RINGS.

MIRIAM: That was close.

GARNETT: I’ll get it.

SFX: GARNETT FOOTSTEPS.

GARNETT: (OVER SFX: CHANTS) Have some champagne in a glass or I’ll have to kick your...

SFX: OFF MIKE: KNOCK ON DOOR.

GARNETT: I’d like to finish that verse once. (CALLS TO DOOR) Hold on.

SFX: GARNETT WALKS TO DOOR AND OPENS IT.

GARNETT: (GASPS) I thought you died.

WILLIAM: Sorry to disappoint you. Nice party.

GARNETT: How’d you find me?

WILLIAM: The Ninth told me about your statue. They tell me everything. They’re coming later.

GARNETT: They were ambushed... wiped out.

WILLIAM: We survived. You didn’t get a scratch. But I spent six months in a coma and years in V-A hospitals.

MIRIAM: (OFF MIKE: CALLS TO GARNETT) Who’s at the door?

GARNETT: (CALLS TO MIRIAM) No one in particular.

WILLIAM: She sounds nice.

GARNETT: What do you want?

WILLIAM: A confession.

GARNETT: That was long ago.

WILLIAM: (BITE CUE)... You abandoned your command.

GARNETT: We were surrounded.

WILLIAM: We looked to you for leadership.

GARNETT: I was scared. A kid leading other kids into combat.

WILLIAM: When the bullets ripped through the camp you ran. And the Ninth died. But every day they talk and scream at me demanding justice.

GARNETT: That’s not how it happened.

WILLIAM: Explain it to the Ninth. Let them decide.

GARNETT: They talk to me too. Reminding me that...

WILLIAM: That you’re responsible for their deaths.

GARNETT: Let’s talk about responsibilities.

WILLIAM: Good. I have a pistol dying to speak.

GARNETT: I don’t scare that easily.

WILLIAM: The Souls of the Ninth want Justice. Tonight.

SFX: COME ON MIKE: MIRIAM’S FOOTSTEPS.

GARNETT: (OVER SFX) They’ll get it.

MIRIAM: (COME ON MIKE: BEAT) Larry, introduce me to your friend.

GARNETT: This is an old acquaintance from the Fighting Ninth.

MIRIAM: The Ninth? I thought they were all wiped out.

WILLIAM: Only two survivors: Larry and me.

GARNETT: Name’s William.

MIRIAM: As in “the Conqueror.” Very military-sounding. Larry’s dedicating a memorial to the Ninth.

WILLIAM: That’s what I heard.

MIRIAM: Come and join the party. Friends and families, the press, and politicians. There’s plenty of food and drink. You can even say a few words.

WILLIAM: I do have some things to say but you can have the press and politicians. (CALLS TO GARNETT) Larry, bring us champagne.

MUSIC: SEGUE: DRAMATIC, DYNAMIC MUSIC. RISE AND ESTABLISH MOOD. CROSS FADE TO...

ALL: (COME ON MIKE: VARIOUS CONVERSATIONS)

WILLIAM: I was on guard duty when Larry landed face down in a cow pasture. He crawled away in the darkness. Thought no one saw him, but I did.

SFX: COME ON MIKE: EDDIE WALKS INTO CONVERSATION.

ALL: (OVER SFX: LAUGHTER)

WILLIAM: There you are, Larry. We were just laughing at you.

GARNETT: Ha-ha.

MIRIAM: You crawled through a cow field?

GARNETT: Bad luck.

WILLIAM: Drinks for everyone, Larry.

ALL: “More champagne sounds great.” “Let’s all get more.” “To toast the statue and the Ninth.” (GO OFF MIKE: CONVERSATIONS)

GARNETT: Are you coming, Miriam?

MIRIAM: In a moment. I’ll catch up with you.

SFX: GO OFF MIKE: GARNETT WALKS AWAY.

MIRIAM: What do you think of the party, William?

WILLIAM: A lot of people. I never knew the Ninth had such a large surviving family.

MIRIAN: Gets bigger each year. The spirit of the Ninth grows along with it. My brother served. You must’ve known him.

WILLIAM: I didn’t know too many people.

MIRIAM: I wrote him every week. Ronnie said...

WILLIAM: Ronnie Evans? I remember those letters.

MIRIAM: You knew Ronnie?

WILLIAM: He hated guard duty so I used to take his. He was a short-timer...

MIRIAM: Less than thirty days when (SOBS) when he (SOBS)... Excuse me.

SFX: GO OF MIKE: MIRIAM WALKS/RUNS AWAY.

WILLIAM: (CALLS TO HER) Miriam... come back. I’m...

GARNETT: What happened?

WILLIAM: We were talking about her brother and she got upset.

GARNETT: Lot of good people in the Ninth. I miss them.

WILLIAM: They were my friends, too. I still can’t believe they’re gone. Where’d she go? I want to apologize.

GARNETT: Leave and I’ll apologize for you.

WILLIAM: Her brother’s dead because of you.

GARNETT: I did my best.

WILLIAM: Miriam and the others’ll string you up alive.

GARNETT: Go before things happen.

SFX: COME ON MIKE: MIRIAM WALKS BACK.

WILLIAM: (OVER SFX) Over your dead body.

MIRIAM: (COME ON MIKE) Sometimes when I remember Ronnie... Oh hello Larry.

GARNETT: William’s leaving.

MIRIAM: At least stay until the statue’s unveiled.

WILLIAM: Well I...

GARNETT: He has business elsewhere.

MIRIAM: That’s unfortunate.

WILLIAM: Uh, maybe I can...

GARNETT: (BITE CUE) Maybe you should leave.

MIRIAM: You can what?

WILLIAM: Toast the Fighting Ninth before I go.

MIRIAM: Splendid. I’ll get the glasses and champagne.

SFX: GO OFF MIKE: MIRIAM WALKS AWAY.

GARNETT: What are you doing?

WILLIAM: Toasting our old platoon and the souls of guests yet to come.

SFX: COME ON MIKE: MIRIAM WALKS BACK.

MIRIAM: (COME ON MIKE) Here. You pour.

WILLIAM: With pleasure.

SFX: WILLIAM POURS CHAMPAGNE INTO THREE GLASSES.

WILLIAM: A toast to the bravery, the courage, and the dignity of the Fighting Ninth. To Davies, Jackson, and Newcomb...

GARNETT AND MIRIAM: Cheers.

SFX: THEY CLINK THEIR GLASSES.

WILLIAM: (BEAT) Fill the glasses again.

SFX: WILLIAM POURS CHAMPAGNE INTO THREE GLASSES.

WILLIAM: To Chandler, Richardson, and Turner...

MIRIAM: I think they’re unveiling the statue.

GARNETT: You should see the statue.

SFX: THEY CLINK THEIR GLASSES.

WILLIAM: (BEAT) Another round.

MIRIAM: Sounds like they’re applauding.

GARNETT: You’re right. That is applause.

SFX: WILLIAM POURS CHAMPAGNE INTO HIS GLASS.

WILLIAM: To Adams, Martin, and Ronnie Evans and all the others (SLURS) I salute...

SFX: WILLIAM COLLAPSES.

MIRIAM: William.

GARNETT: He’s out. Go see the statue.

MIRIAM: What about him?

GARNETT: Don’t worry. Go.

SFX: BEAT: GO OFF MIKE: MIRIAM WALKS AWAY. BEAT: OFF MIKE: DOOR CLOSES.

GARNETT: (TO WILLIAM) You could’ve left. Just walked out the door. But you didn’t. You stayed and forced me to...

SFX: WILLIAM SHOOTS PISTOL TWICE AT GARNETT.

GARNETT: (MORTALLY WOUNDED) Aarrgghh. How? You were passed out.

WILLIAM: Doesn’t hit me unless it’s Irish whiskey.

GARNETT: They’ll come looking for me. (COUGHS) You can’t stop them.

WILLIAM: Stop who? Politicians talking everyone to death?

GARNET: The Ninth.

WILLIAM: They’re coming for payment.

GARNETT: You’re right but... but not from me.

SFX: GARNETT FALLS TO FLOOR.

WILLIAM: Say that again Garnett. Garnett. If they’re not coming for you then...

SFX: BITE CUE: OFF MIKE: MIRIAM KNOCKS ON DOOR.

WILLIAM: What in the name of... (CALLS TO DOOR) Hold on. (TO GARNETT) Come on, Garnett, get up.

SFX: OFF MIKE: MIRIAM KNOCKS HARDER.

WILLIAM: (CALLS OUT) I said I’m coming. (TO GARNETT) Help me, Garnett. I’ve got to hide you.

SFX: OFF MIKE: MIRIAM KNOCKS HARDER.

WILLIAM: (CALLS OUT) All right. (TO GARNETT) Then lie there. Who cares? (CALLS OUT) Here I come.

SFX: WILLIAM WALKS TO DOOR, BEAT, OPENS DOOR.

WILLIAM: Miriam.

MIRIAM: Hard time finding the door?

WILLIAM: The champagne killed me.

MIRIAM: Where’s Larry?

WILLIAM: He, uh, went to get some coffee.

MIRIAM: Can I come in?

WILLIAM: I’ll come out here.

SFX: WILLIAM CLOSES DOOR.

WILLIAM: What’s on your mind?

MIRIAM: Have you seen Larry?

WILLIAM: I’m sure he’s lying around somewhere. Probably with the politicians or the media.

MIRIAM: He’s not one of them.

WILLIAM: He’s different, all right. Especially now.

MIRIAM: He is. When Ronnie died I had no one. No family, no friends, and no one to help me.

WILLIAM: I’ve known him for years and he never...

MIRIAM: (BITE CUE) The other families feel the same way. When the Ninth was ambushed the rest of us would’ve died if Larry hadn’t helped us. He put the Richardson kids through college.

WILLIAM: That’s only one...

MIRIAM: (BITE CUE) Found a doctor when Ted Martin got sick, bought a house for Emma Davies last month.

WILLIAM: What do you know about his past? Where he comes from or who he is?

MIRIAM: He’s always there. That’s all that matters.

WILLIAM: Don’t you wonder why he didn’t get a scratch the night of the ambush?

MIRIAM: What do you mean?

WILLIAM: Come inside.

SFX: WILLIAM OPENS AND CLOSES DOOR. WILLIAM AND MIRIAM WALK INTO ROOM.

WILLIAM: On the night of the ambush he abandoned his command. Let the Ninth get wiped out. Thought he was the only survivor

MIRIAM: How much champagne did you have?

SFX: WILLIAM AND MIRIAM STOP WALKING.

WILLIAM: I was in a coma when they found me. In and out of hospitals for years. But I kept hearing the Ninth screaming for justice. I came here and confronted him about what he did. He tried to shoot me so I...

MIRIAM: Oh my gosh, his body. What did you do?

WILLIAM: I shot him.

MIRIAM: Why?

WILLIAM: He killed the Ninth. Including your brother.

MIRIAM: I don’t believe you and the others won’t either. You’re lying.

WILLIAM: Please listen to me, Miriam.

MIRIAM: I’m getting the police. (GO OFF MIKE) Help. Somebody help me.

SFX: GO OFF MIKE: MIRIAM RUNS AWAY.

WILLIAM: (CALLS TO HER) Miriam don’t go. Wait a minute.

SFX: OFF MIKE: SHE OPENS AND CLOSES DOOR.

GARNETT: (FILTERED: LAUGHS)

WILLIAM: Enjoying your party, Garnett?

GARNETT: (STOPS LAUGHING) Dead men don’t party.

WILLIAM: Be glad you’re dead. Facing the Ninth would be worse.

GARNETT: I face them every year. Tonight they’re coming to see what I’ve done over the last twelve months.

WILLIAM: They want the guy who killed them.

GARNETT: They still do. They want you.

WILLIAM: What? Say that again.

GARNETT: The souls of the Fighting Ninth are marching here for you. Burke and Peterson. Do you hear them?

WILLIAM: What are you doing?

GARNETT: Florham and Stanton. They’re coming.

SFX: OFF MIKE: BED: SOLDIERS MARCHING.

LEADER: (OFF MIKE: OVER SFX) We’re the Ninth and we’re all dead.

ALL: (OFF MIKE: OVER SFX) Seven, eight.

LEADER: (OFF MIKE: OVER SFX) Our sounds no longer in your head.

ALL: (OFF MIKE: OVER SFX) Seven, eight.

WILLIAM: Who’s that?

GARNETT: Higgins, Lawrence, and Summers.

SFX: OFF MIKE: BED: SOLDIERS MARCHING.

LEADER: (OFF MIKE: OVER SFX) We’re the Ninth whose blood was spilt.

ALL: (OFF MIKE: OVER SFX) Seven, eight.

LEADER: (OFF MIKE: OVER SFX) The night you slept we were kilt.

ALL: (OFF MIKE: OVER SFX) Seven, eight.

WILLIAM: Stop them or I’ll shoot.

GARNETT: You can’t kill us twice. Clark, Newton, Young and the others.

SFX: COME ON MIKE: SOLDIERS MARCHING.

LEADER: The Ninth is here so shout it loud.

ALL: Seven, eight.

LEADER: Your death is coming from this crowd.

ALL: Seven, eight.

SFX: SOLDIERS STOMP TWICE.

GARNETT: Say hello to the old platoon, William.

WILLIAM: Take him, guys. He killed you.

GARNETT: You’re the reason they’re dead.

WILLIAM: You abandoned your command.

GARNETT: You fell asleep on guard duty and the enemy got past you. They’re dead because of you.

WILLIAM: That can’t be what happened.

GARNETT: You killed the Ninth. So long, William.

WILLIAM: Don’t leave me, Garnett.

SFX: STAY ON MIKE: GARNETT WALKS AWAY.

LEADER: (GOING OFF MIKE) Listen to the words he said.

ALL: (GOING OFF MIKE) Justice justice.

WILLIAM: (GOING OFF MIKE) Stay away from me. (CALLS OUT) Garnett.

SFX: GARNETT CONTINUES WALKING AWAY.

LEADER: (GOING OFF MIKE) The Ninth is here to make you dead.

ALL: (GOING OFF MIKE) Justice.

WILLIAM: (OFF MIKE: CALLS OUT) No-o-o-o.

SFX: BEAT: OFF MIKE: SINGLE PISTOL SHOT.

MUSIC: THEME: RISE AND ESTABLISH AND OUT.

Copyright © 2005 by William Spear